CRUSHES

We all know what a crush is, and we all know what having a crush is like. A crush is supposed to be this amazing euphoric thing. You have something to wake up for in the morning/you look forward to seeing them/the excitement you feel when he/she texts you first…we are now approaching the worst one of all. The potential soul crushing hope that he/she might possibly like you back. Yep. We’ve all been there.

I’m 25 years old and am still crushing. I currently have a crush on someone who is completely out of my reach, not because he’s better than me, not because he’s cooler than me, not because we don’t have any chemistry and not because he doesn’t like me back. He’s out of reach because he already has a girlfriend. No wonder they call it a crush, when I heard him say “my girlfriend and I…” in a sentence to another person, I felt crushed. Completely and totally crushed. It left me feeling glum and almost ruined my entire day! Having a crush on someone doesn’t seem like a big deal, it could almost come across as school girl behaviour, but when something like that happens, it can make you feel awful and even reduce you to tears. You know what just makes it so much worse? I see him every day.

And now you have to deal with the next morning. You feel so flat and no longer have anything to look forward to. Why bother dressing up just for him? Why should I be careful with my makeup? And why the fuck should I wash my hair each night so it’s nice and shiny for him?

No more butterflies.

The bad thing about getting a crush on someone in your mid twenties is that usually at this age, they’re already taken. I mean for god’s sake, half my year from school are already married I’m just like

God give me strength

 

HOOKUP CONFESSION COMING SOON

Dollskill, Meet Cutes, and Life

So I am also aware as much as you that I have absolutely not posted anything in quite a while. If you want a glamorous reason such as “I have been spreading good will across the African continent” then kindly click away now. If you want the truth, then keep reading!

To be honest, I have been tired. That is my actual excuse. Tiredness. I go to work, get asked to stay back, get the train home, walk in the door and go straight to bed. For those of you who do not work yet, cherish the spring you have in your step before employment snatches it away like a burglar with a handbag. I am surrounded by computer screens all day long and I am sorry to say, but the last thing I want to do when I get home is sit in front of a computer for a couple more hours. I’m sorry. But sleep and no social life actually took over my life. But horah! This weekend is the long weekend FINALLY.

I told you I would fill you guys in on how the Dollskill (not expensive at all) purchase went. They arrived the other week and I am in love with MOST of them! I haven’t had assistance in being able to take proper fashion photos so welcome to amateur hour.

 

Sadly yes, these are all the photos I got to take, luckily they’re of my favourite items out of the ones I had bought. The Hello Hoodlum jacket is literally the most comfortable thing and the Ripper sweater is actually really warm! And as you can also see, I’ve chucked on my Dope iPhone case. Bit bigger than I thought but I still love it. The slashed hoodie I can no longer be in denial about. I want to love it, but just don’t. I don’t dislike it, but it just doesn’t fit right and I was super hyped about getting it in the mail. But what can you do?! I still wear it.

Moving on to more interesting news…a couple of weekends ago I went out into the city to check out the Vivid Sydney festival. The whole of Sydney Harbour lights up with music and lights (obvs).

I was sitting on some stone steps at Milsons Point with my camera and a few guys came and sat down near me. Basically, one of them started talking to me using the line “I wish I had a camera like that”. And might I add, he had an Irish accent. Even more cute. He was 26 years old (probably still is) and really nice. And how did it end? They had to leave and now I will never see him again.

A similar incident happened last weekend when I was sent to get a blood test. Usually on a Saturday morning a lovely little Asian lady takes my blood and it’s all over in a matter of minutes. This time, I walked into the room and who should be standing there but a tall, handsome, young man studying Medical Science. We hit it off big time. He could tell I was tired and thought I was cute…we were chatting for quite a while and regrettably I think we might have held up some very patient customers in the waiting room. And how did it end? I had to leave and now I will never see him again.

 

Hookup Confession #1

So, I have a relatively big list of boys whom I have (well, the ones I can remember) hooked up with. By “hook up” I do not mean sex. I mean kiss. Kiss, makeout, pash, smooch, canoodle, whatever you want to call it. At the moment I have a list of 22 boys/men on my iPhone who I have hooked up with (and shamefully, I have a rating on what they were like next to their names). There was one hook up that a few girls would regret doing, whereas I did not. At the time, I was going out with a guy who was not good to me. He treated me poorly, didn’t understand me and was too aggressive for my liking. My life is at a pretty good, stable and happy stage at the moment, so there is no way I would be going out with someone like him for as long as I did. However, while I was going out with this man (let’s call him Derek — almost sounds like Dick) I was depressed and lonely and all I wanted was some kind of companionship and Derek gave me that. A shame it was shit companionship.

Anyway, one night we went up the coast, about an hours drive, to a club…but I forgot my ID! So stupid! How could I? So I insisted they go on for the night and I’d wait in the car…and he did. What a dick right? Well, the car got boring so I went for a stroll and then got talking to this guy. He was cute, he was flirty and he totally wanted to get it on and in all honesty, so did I. So…we did. It was more like a rapid fire round of intense kissing. It lasted for about one minute then we went separate ways. So there’s one hookup confession.

I should feel guilty, because technically I cheated.

But the things is, I DON’T feel guilty. It was a quick kiss and my boyfriend was a dickwad. He can go to hell for all I care.

10 things I love & hate about SEX

LOVE

1. The crippling sexual tension you feel before it happens

2. The confidence it gives me “fuck yeah someone wants to have sex with me”

3. Watching my sexual partner getting more and more turned on. Hell yeah, that’s because of me bitches.

4. Mild dirty talk

5. The fact that it’s also a workout

6. Climaxing at the same time (not always, but when it does happen it’s a-fucking-mazing)

7. It doesn’t cost anything

8. I can act in a way I never get to in public

9. The noises

10. The orgasm

 

HATE

1. If you’re not on the pill, the temporary buzz kill of putting on a condom

2. The slimey aftermath

3. Feeling as though you could fall asleep when you actually have somewhere to be. FUCK THAT PLACE.

4. Getting started then getting interrupted

5. Yucky bed sheets…if it takes place in a bed.

6. Woops, someone’s fucking phone just rang

7. Difficulty climaxing when he’s just about on the brink

8. My absolute paranoia that I’m somehow pregnant

9. Having to keep the noises down

10. Not being into something he suggests or asks.

 

“our sex isn’t half bad” – Heartbeat Childish Gambino.